Week 3 (lost count of the days...)

First goal: lose 5% of my current body weight
Overall goal: lose 40 pounds
Current status: lost 5.7 pounds

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Well, weigh-in #3 was this morning....and I've realized eating (for me) is a little like shopping.

Back in the day, if I went shopping and wanted something, I'd get it. Didn't matter if I had the money or how much it was. Now, true, I never just went and spent willy-nilly on a pair of Manolo's or anything (yes, I saw SATC2 last night), but a little spent often enough adds up. And all that adding resulted in me having credit card issues. Well, basically I owed. A lot.

Over time, I realized that I was just buying to make myself happy. I wasn't happy with a lot of what was going on in my life, and maybe subconsciously, I thought that a new pair of shoes or a new shirt would make me happy. And they did - but only temporarily... Then I'd want to shop some more.

But when I realized I CAN be happy and have it NOTHING to do with shopping, I started shopping in a more discriminate fashion. Did I really NEED that rainbow scarf or those green Crocs? NO. Did I want them? YES. BUT instead of just BUYING them right then, I learned to wait. If I was still thinking about them tomorrow or next week, then I really DID want them and would choose to spend my money on them.

That has lead me to be able pay down a lot of my debt and to really truly enjoy when I DO actually spend money on myself...

I'm learning the same can be said for food.

In the past 3 weeks, I've gone from being anxious about every meal to realizing that I have options. I've stopped to think about what I really want to eat, and made healthier choices.

The other night, I went out to the diner and was faced with getting something fun like chicken fingers and fries or even a veggie burger and fries. That's what my first instinct told me to get... But I stopped and thought about my options. An egg white omelet with spinach, tomatoes and feta cheese is just as filling but A) way healthier and B) waaaay less points. And who doesn't love breakfast for dinner?? I LOVE BREAKFAST FOR DINNER!!

Point is, I was able to realize that the fun and happiness I'd get from bad food would last only a short while but the fat and badness I get from it would last way longer on my arse and anywhere else it landed - sort of like my credit card bills!! So, if I'm going to "charge" the points, why not owe less?? It turns out I was JUST as happy and didn't "pay" as much!!

WIN WIN!

I love shopping and eating. And I admit there ARE still times I want to both spend money and eat willy-nilly, but will it make me happy long run? No.

Besides, I love loosing weight even more! WOOT!

Day 11

First goal: lose 5% of my current body weight
Overall goal: lose 40 pounds
Current status: not sure

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Well, yesterday, my weight dropped below that magic number I never want to be over again. This morning, it was back over it. Now I know I can't micro manage my weight loss. Its only natural to bobble a pound or two given even the time of day...

BUT it was also a wake up call.

You see, this weekend, I was so busy doing stuff at home and running around here and there, that I didn't eat much. And so obviously, when I weighed myself with NO food in me (even though it wasn't on purpose), I seemed to have lost a lot. But when I ate - even eating breakfast today - I gained. A lot? No. And I'm still below my last official weigh-in from last week, so I'm happy.

Basically, this reminds me that while I can't eat like its going out of style, I also have to remember to eat.

I keep good food in the house now - BONUS. So mid way through my Saturday when I'm running around cleaning like a fiend, I need to remind myself to STOP and eat. Even just some carrots or an apple.

I don't need a 4 course lunch - but I do need A lunch!

So today I was better.... I had my cereal for breakfast, and had carrots and apples throughout the day. I didn't have lunch since again, I was so busy @ work, but I did have a half of a sandwich and half a soup (a cup vs a bowl I guess?) and that filled me nicely. Not stuffed, but satisfied.

I think this whole Weight Watchers thing has taught me (so far) to eat to keep me going and NOT because I'm bored or its something to do. And today, I caught myself reaching for the carrots and simultaneously taking a deep breath (that deep breath when you're full).... I promptly closed the lid and put them aside. Was I hungry? No. Was I bored? Heck yeah.

The trick is to not eat when you're bored.

I'm learning....slowly!

So we'll see....Wednesday AM is my next weigh-in. We'll see how it goes! :)

Day 10

First goal: lose 5% of my current body weight
Overall goal: lose 40 pounds
Current status: 4.4 pounds lost

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Holy Moley!!! I'm so excited. No, today isn't an official weigh-in date, but I got on the scale for fun (like I do every day - just to torture myself) and I lost another 2.4 pounds since Wednesday!!! OMG SO HAPPY!!!

That means I'm just .6 pounds from the weight I never want to be again, and I'm .7 pounds away from the weight I never want to go OVER again!!!

I have 4 days to stay where I am PLUS loose that extra .7 pounds! Here's my mini-goal for this week....can I make it?

HECK YEAH!!!

Week 2 - How Weight Watchers Almost Killed Me

First goal: lose 5% of my current body weight
Overall goal: lose 40 pounds
Current status: 2 pounds lost

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In my efforts to eat better yet in a fun way, I decided to eat a bowl of couscous last night for dinner. Since the serving size is 1 cup and the box made 3, that left 2 cups over one of which I had for lunch today.

I decided to eat lunch @ my desk and work through lunch. I reheated my couscous and ate at my desk. While I was eating, one of my co-workers made me laugh, thus making a cous (singular) travel up the back of my nose and sit there very uncomfortably.

Which only made me laugh harder.

Naturally.

When I finally was able to remove it (sans details to all of you), I found that, in fact, it was couscous - TWO COUS'S STUCK IN MY NOSE!

It was highly reminiscent of the Tic-Tac Incident of 1999....which still traumatizes me to this day.

Needless to say, I survived both. Barely.

Day 1

First goal: lose 5% of my current body weight
Overall goal: lose 40 pounds
Current status: @ starting weight

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I decided to start Weight Watchers late last night. Actually, I've been toying with doing it and not doing it for a while... But there were always excuses and reasons why not to. Finally, last night, enough was enough....so I signed up online and am going to try it for the next month.....

I figure since I hardly ever write on here anymore, but I'm always keeping a journal of this-that-and-the other thing...that I might as well use this space to start keeping a journal of how I'm doing on WW.

I think my biggest fears are the anxiety of eating. I don't like how I feel/look, so I've tried to eat better or less, but what tastes good to me is always fried, cheesy, and salty. So I turn to those when I don't feel good about myself, but those exact things are what contributed to how I am now!!

So today, Anthony and I were meeting up @ The Fireplace - our usual bad-for-you lunch place. As Nicole put it, that place is a landmine of WW badness!!! So I had the pre-lunch anxieties of OMG what do I eat!

I decided to eat baby carrots before going (0 points) and then planned to order the kid's chicken nuggets figuring that portion would be smaller and I could have my bad food but not have a lot of it....

Simple enough, right??

Well, when I got my food, I found out why kids are so overweight today. The "kids" meal was actually 2 nugget style fillets slightly bigger than the palm of my hand. And, thanks to my handy-dandy WW app, I know the palm of my hand is approx. 3 oz, so each was 4oz (for a whopping 8.5 points). I also had some of the fries it came with but Anthony ate probably about 1/4 of those, so I did my tracker app thingie and guessed that was 4.5 pts. Add to that the MM pink lemonade (2pts) I had (and haven't finished) that's a crazy 15 points for lunch!

BUT

Before I even ate, I went to the counter and got a to-go box. I didn't want to eat BOTH chicken fillets, so I took one and put one in that to-go box for another time - or to chop up and put in a salad tomorrow maybe. Point is, I removed half of the problem - otherwise, I'd have been over in points today!

Bad part is I only have 6.5 points for tonight where we're going to an Oktoberfest party. BUT, I still have my 35 "anytime" points which I guess I can borrow against since neither Anthony or I know what's on the menu tonight.... But I'll just stay under control as best I can tonight and that's all I can do.

At least I know for next week when we meet @ The Fireplace to either get the not-a-nuggets OR to do something else. But now I know it was a BAD lunch.... And since I haven't had even 1/4 of my drink, the little bit of ketchup I had w/ everything (I made a point not to DOUSE as usual, I dipped lightly into ketchup on a separate plate), I figure that could be rolled up into the 2pts for the drink too. I probably won't finish the drink.....

I guess the whole point is that I survived! I tried to make decisions ahead of time to counteract my lunch badness as best as possible. Looking back, if I hadn't have had the carrots, I'd totally have still been hungry for the other chicken half. But what I ate filled me, so I didn't keep eating. AND if I get hungry later today, I have green peppers (another 0 points) so that should hold me over until dinner.

Poor Nicole has had to endure a plethora of WW questions up till now and I can't appreciate her help enough. She's inspired me because she's lost a lot of weight on WW (and is still going!!), so if she can do it, I can do it! Or I'm going to try at least!! :) I know the first week or two are going to be tough, but when I get the hang of it and get past the mental block of "omg what can I eat", I'll be fine.... It's just going to take time.

First goal to work towards and hit: lose 5% of my current body weight.

Here I come!