Growing pains

Its funny because now that I have my new job, I feel almost like I've left the planet...

I'm still getting used to the new routine. Up at the crack of dawn, new people, new place, new desk, new dress code.... And I knew to expect all that.

But what threw me for a loop was how isolated I'd feel.

I got used to spending the day with my boyfriend (there, I said it!) and even though some of my old co-workers drove me nuts, I did socialize with some of them at work, so I was constantly talking to someone. And when I wasn't, there was something going on at work - rubber bands flying around, a chance to go outside for a walk, someone to talk to....and even Nicole to chat with online! So even though I don't have a group of friends outside of work that I socialize with, I at least had human contact and socialized (limitedly) at work.

Now that I'm at my new job, its a much different situation. I don't really know anyone yet. My direct co-worker (the girl I share a space with) is very nice and helpful when I ask a question, but she doesn't talk. My boss is, well, all work (understandably) and I don't even have the chance to go online to chat with Nicole (BOO).

I don't get joke emails anymore, don't have people to talk to, and don't really socialize. And I guess I wasn't ready for that. Not that work is a place to socialize, but it helps pass the time. But as I look around when I'm there, it doesn't seem like people socialize much at all. So its been a little rough on me.

I guess I've found myself a little "home sick" - or "work sick" - as in missing my old routine. And I know, I know, once I get settled into my new routine, I'll feel better. But I guess, even with all the stuff I wasn't happy with at my last job, you never realize how comforting it is to be surrounded by what you know, until its not there anymore. Does that make sense??

Anyway - I guess its just par for the course when you get a new job and move on to do different things.

"You'll get used to it"

What's "it"?? Being at work at 8am and getting up at just after 6am.

And yeah - I'll get used to "it" just like I'd get used to a metal spike through my head!

Not so much my friend.

But I'm proud of myself... Day one over, and I'm only mildly comatose. Of course, it's after 10:30 and it feels like 2am!!

I got to work on time - WOOT! That's partially thanks (well, mostly, ok, all-ly) thanks to my boyfriend. He woke me up at 6:15. A.M. (!!) I made coffee, waffles (I need food, sorry) and I hopped in the shower. Ok, I slothed into the shower. I got dressed, he got my travel mug full o-joe ready and I was out the door.

The commute wasn't bad (15 minutes, but 20 would've been better - next time leave earlier!), but I made it on time. We'll see how tomorrow goes... ;)

I got there, my boss met me, took me on a tour of the place and I met way too many people (all very nice) for me to remember at an hour when just last week I was still asleep! :)

After filling out my HR paperwork (we get direct deposit - WOOT!), I went back to my desk, "unpacked" and waited for IT to come to set me up. Turns out the IT department (new and only 3 people big) aren't Mac peeps. They're PC types. So it was a difficult day to say the least for them to get me set up with email and get access to the server. As of now, I still don't really have email. Well, I do, but only partially. They promised to get me up and running tomorrow morning.

I'm going to hold them to that!

My boss took me to lunch along with the girl I work with. We had a nice time and it was more of a get-to-know-you deal. After lunch, I spoke with him about the company, and we just discussed broadly what I'd be doing, etc...

Around 3:45 I finally was able to open Quark. Of course, the computer still wasn't 100%, so neither were the fonts I needed. Long story long, I didn't get to do any design work today. Just lots of sitting and reading the catalog I'll be maintaining (who knew there were so many o-rings and nuts and bolts in cars??). :)

My parents asked me (when I finally got home) how my first day went and asked if I liked it, etc. I told them its too soon to know, but that I know I don't like the morning part. I DO think that my first impression of the people who work there is good. Everyone was very nice to me today and they all seem easy going. My boss and co-worker seem nice. And the office itself isn't half bad. Other than that, I can't say much. I guess its too soon to say if I'll love or hate the job - especially since I did no design work today. But I will admit that I took comfort in opening Quark for the first time ever. And not because I like Quark (Quark blows, afterall), but because it was something familiar in an unfamiliar setting... However, my co-worker and I spoke to my boss, and he seems receptive to switching over to InDesign (since she and I are the only two who use Quark anyway). So there could be a silver lining to showing up early - InDesign could be waiting for me! :)

So, that's about it. Day one done. How many more to go?? Who knows. For now, I'm taking it one day at a time - you know, like recovering addicts. I'm recovering from sleeping in "late" and still getting to go to work! So I'll just take it one early morning at a time. Oh, and just count down to sleeping in on Saturday mornings! Cause if I had a penny for every time I heard "you'll get used to it", heck, EVERY DAY would be Saturday to me!! :-D

Tomorrow!

Well, I can't say the past couple weeks were easy.

I got a new job, resigned from my old, and spent the last 2 weeks saying goodbye, doing mad amounts of work (to not leave them in a lurch) and cleaned out my desk.... Not to mention the mental and emotional exhaustion of it all...

But I survived.

And tomorrow I start a new chapter - the one where I start my new job at an earlier time (no, I'm not a morning person, so why pretend I am?). But I'll be fine.

Its been hard, and I'll admit that I'm nervous, but, nothing worth doing is ever easy. I know this will be good for me - I just have to get past the nervous period and settle in. And get a new fish tank for my desk!! :-D

So keep your fingers crossed that when the alarm goes off between 6am and 6:30am (SHOOT ME) that I hear it and get up!! And from there, it should be easy as pie! (yeah, right) :)

Please inform yourselves!

Its no secret I have been an animal activist for a while... And given the upcoming election, I've become more so because I truly believe that we are at a cross-roads for supporting the environment, the planet, and its animals.

A lot has been written about John McCain’s pick for Vice President (Sarah Palin), but here are a few things you might not know:

• She has championed aerial gunning of wolves and bears and approved a $400,000 state-funded campaign to promote this awful practice. If you don't know what aerial gunning is, basically, Alaska officials allow airborne gunners to kill hundreds of wolves. Easy targets against the snow, hundreds of wolves have been shot from above or chased to exhaustion and then killed by aerial gunners who land and execute them at point-blank range. While I'm not a supporter of hunting, I believe if you ARE going to hunt, there's a right way and a wrong way to do it. There is something cowardly and pathetic about not doing the work - not hunting on the ground and going after the animal the way it should be done. Instead, these people just fly over the animal, frighten and exhaust it, and shoot it - how pathetic.

• As governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin proposed paying a $150 bounty for the severed left foreleg of each dead wolf.
  

• Just this summer, Palin's Alaska Fish and Game personnel, with authorization from the Alaska Board of Game, helicoptered into known denning areas knowing adult wolf pack / family members would remain to protect their pups. As a result, 14 adult wolves were killed in addition to 14 one-month old pups they were protecting, for a total of 28 wolves killed. This killing of wolf pups via denning (denning is the practice of killing wolves in or around their den, in this case by shooting them in the head) is against the law, regardless of whether it is done by the public or Alaska Department of Fish & Game.

Its important for citizens to be informed and not just vote on looks, popularity, or man vs. woman. Please inform yourselves...learn more about Palin’s record online at:

http://actionfund.defenders.org/palinvideo

Well its about time!

After searching for a new job for about a year (give or take), I was finally offered a new on this past Friday. One I've decided to take.

My boyfriend and my best friend both have been very supportive, patient and understanding while I've weeded through the jobs, asked for advice, gone on interviews, asked ad nauseum about should I do this or that... And I couldn't be more grateful.

My family and friends have been supportive of me as well. They've listened to me talk about potential positions and given me advice. Again, I couldn't be more grateful.

When it came time to resign from my current position, my friends and family (boyfriend and best friend both included) all gave me great advice. They told me I was doing the right thing and not to second guess myself. They supported me and they were there for me.

None of that changed how scared I was today - right up until I walked out of my boss' office after resigning. I was scared! I was nervous. I was anxious. I was numb. Thought I was going to be sick. You name it...

But even through all the advice and support that everyone gave me, I think the one thing that sticks out is what my boyfriend said to me as I got ready to go into my boss' office. I told him I was scared and didn't think I could do it (no matter how much I wanted to). He told me that I'm strong and that I'm not the person I used to be.

I'm strong and that I'm not the person I used to be.

After all the dust settled and now that I'm lying here at home in the cool evening air with the fan on...it hit me. I'm NOT the person I used to be. I've changed and I've grown a lot. This new position that I'll be starting in a couple weeks is yet another materialization of that. And while its scary to make a change, I'm looking forward to the challenge. Because if I've survived all the other stuff I've gone through in my life, I know I'll get through this and be great at it!

So thank you to my boyfriend, my best friend and all of my other friends and family for being so wonderful to me - not only in my job search, but always. You all mean the world to me, and without your help and support, I couldn't have gotten to where I am today.

I love you all!

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Hector RULES!

Today I finally got my hair fixed... Knowing full well that I couldn't have the length I wanted (that would be shoulder length - what I could've had last month if it was cut properly in the first place...but I digress), I instead opted for evening out the bizarre do I've been sporting for almost a month. Yes, that same one that had me crying for the first week I wore it...

Now that its all over, I can post the badness.....hold on to your seats...

Before:

I took a chance and went to a salon at the mall. I'd already (in the past) gone to the salons that my mother and friends go to and they'd been ruled out. I figured if I'm just going to walk in anywhere, might as well be at the mall - where I can do a little shopping afterwards! I walked in and they gave me Hector.

HECTOR RULES. Period.

I told him my story and how "all one length, shorter in back, longer in front" somehow got me the "haircut" above. I told him how I hoped it would grow on me and that's when he told me "honey, its not going to grow on you." I told him I understood that it would be shorter than I wanted if he fixed it but to pleeeeeease fix it and get me as close as possible to what I wanted. I had photos, I had diagrams, I was ready to run if I saw even one layer cut! But lo and behold, Hector didn't let me down...

After:

Keep in mind these photos were taken indoors on my camera phone by me holding it at arms length, but, would you look-e here?? Its just what I asked for...all one length, shorter in back, longer in front!

Can I get a woot woot??

If your best friend can't tell you the truth, who can?

I sent pictures of my "haircut" (if you can call it that) today to Nicole....one's I can't even bring myself to post here... Here's what my best friend had to say about it:

"seriously, i'd cut it off and start over... you can still do graduated.... so it's longer in the front. i can't even imagine why she would do that to your hair. i think it doesn't look that bad from the front. but from the back and side, it's like wtf? it's a reverse mullet."

and when i asked her if i was overreacting, she said:

"no, that's a bad hair cut. your hair should never be layered and texturized like that. i'd sport an ugly pony tail and gymnast barrets until i could get it cut but that's me."

See?? I can always trust Nicole to give it to me straight! Thanks Nice Slady! YOU ROCK! :)